I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.   (Romans 8 :38-39 NLT)

I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. (John 10:28 NIV)

God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5 NIV)

Yesterday we saw that loneliness is experienced when we do not have emotionally intimate or meaningful relationships with others.  I often refer to this as internal loneliness, but many people also experience physical loneliness, which can be just as debilitating.

The fear of being alone is a big concern for many people. Some people worry about growing old alone.  Children (and some adults) have a fear of being alone at night in the dark.   Others are afraid of being unwell and alone; never marrying, or losing a loved one and simply having to live alone.

At the age of nine, I had to spend time in hospital alone following a road traffic accident when my parents were away.  I remember the feelings of complete aloneness that I felt back then, spending the night in a strange bed, being attended to by doctors and nurses I had never seen before, not really understanding what was happening. Yet I also remember knowing that God was with me.  More recently, I had to have a small surgery, and once again I found myself  feeling alone and vulnerable in the hospital, as I was left on a bed in a hallway for what felt like an eternity, separated from all my personal effects and loved ones. Staff hurried past, other patients were brought in, but nobody spoke or really acknowledged me for a while.  Despite being a strong prayer ‘warrior’, I felt that day as if my prayers were going nowhere, perhaps because of the busy and at times disconcerting atmosphere, but I remembered God’s promise, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”   As if in confirmation, a lovely lady from the radiology department came over to me to bring my slates for surgery.  She put her arm around me and whispered, “Even though you don’t feel as if you are in control, remember that God is, and He’s with you!”  In that moment, I was so encouraged, and I knew that he really was there with me, even providing that warm hug from a stranger!

I know a lady who has a fear of dying alone.  One day she was thinking about how when babies are born, they are received into the world with great love and celebration.  Warm, caring hands immediately take the baby to cuddle it and place it into its mother or fathers waiting arms.  She pondered the fact that at birth there is someone waiting there to bring us into the unknown world, to love, nurture and protect us, but what about when we leave the world? She asked, “Who will be there at the moment of my death? What if nobody is there and I am alone?” This was one of her greatest anxieties. But within moments she felt God’s answer. “I will be there. You won’t be alone. My loving arms will be waiting and ready to receive you, as they always have been. I am with you always.”

God’s loving arms are always there for us. Between birth and death this doesn’t change. He is there in the dark with the small child. He is there in the hospital with the patient on the bed in the hallway. He is there when we lose a loved one. He is there in the empty apartment or the lonely bedroom.  All your life, he has been with you, watching over you, longing for you to know he is there.

He has promised that absolutely nothing can separate you from him or his love. Not sickness, or pain, or death or darkness. Nothing. Not even sin. Sometimes we fear being alone as a result of guilt and sin, but this no longer applies because of Jesus.  Longing for reconciliation with us, God sent Jesus to pay the penalty for sin for us.  Jesus was condemned and rejected so that we don’t have to be. He was abandoned by God on the cross to the point where he cried ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? (Matthew 27:46). Because he paid the penalty for sin instead of us, we never have to be abandoned, alone or separated from God again. Ever.  You have been bought by the blood of Christ. He does not condemn you, and will not leave you. 

One of my favourite worship songs is “In Christ Alone,” by Stuart Townend and Keith Getty.  It is a song about the hope we have in Jesus because of his death on the cross.  It describes how Christians do not need to live in fear as a result of sin, because our destiny, and indeed our whole life from birth to death is in God’s hands.  No matter what life throws at us, or what other people do to us, nothing can snatch us out of God’s hands.  Isn’t that wonderful? That is the truth!

Here are some of the lyrics:

And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

 

Prayer: Father God, thank you that you are with me always.  You have watched over me from the moment of my birth, and my destiny is in your hands. Thank you that I am never alone because I belong to you, and you have promised that nothing can separate me from your love.  Show me how to pray when I feel lonely, and help me to turn to you and know the reality of your Presence during those moments.  Amen.

Worship:  Click on the link below to watch and listen to ‘In Christ Alone”.

In Christ Alone (Townsend/Getty, performed by Philips, Craig & Dean)

Turn to me and be gracious to me,  

 Over the past few days we have seen how God, who created the universe and everything in it, is personally interested in his creation, longing for us to find him and know just how great his love is.  Today we turn our attention to one of the world's most common problems which prevents many people from believing that they are loved.  That problem is loneliness.

 

Loneliness is said to be one of the biggest diseases of our time. Despite all our communication technology, 24/7 lifestyles, increasing population, self awareness skills and resources, the biggest struggle many people face today is the feeling of being alone or not belonging.

 

Mother Teresa, who spent her life caring for the sick and destitute, said many times that the feeling of being unwanted, or being a ‘nobody to anybody’ is a much greater hunger than physical hunger. She recognized that the needs of the soul are much greater than the needs of the body.

Solitude is often confused with loneliness, but the two are quite different.  Solitude is simply the state of being alone, which can often be a positive experience.  Introverts, and highly sensitive people for example, need alone time to recharge, and often thrive in their own company.  However, when solitude is forced upon us, through illness or through the death of a partner for example, loneliness can result.

We experience loneliness when we do not have emotionally intimate or meaningful relationships with others, which can cause us to feel isolated or unimportant.  I have counselled many people who have told me that they feel lonely within their marriage or even among a group of friends or in a church.  Lack of emotional intimacy or effective communication causes them to feel that they are not valued, or accepted for who they are.  The feeling of not belonging or not mattering is incredibly painful.  To feel that nobody cares for you cripples the soul because we were designed by God for close loving relationships.  At the dawn of creation when God formed man, he looked upon him and declared, "It is not good for the man to be alone."  Isolation and loneliness were never part of God's plan for mankind.  He designed us to be in relationship with both himself and other people.  I believe that when one or the other is lacking, life cannot be as fulfilling as God intended.  To be dependent on other people for feelings of love and value, without also depending on the God who created you and knows you, means you are depending on an often unreliable source of love! To be dependent on God without relationships with others means we miss the opportunity to grow in relationship, bless others and be blessed through sharing our life journey together.

In the counselling room clients often tell me that they feel that nobody has time to listen to them or care for them anymore, because everyone is so busy, especially here in our western culture.  Many people are struggling with deep internal loneliness, longing for their hearts to be heard and valued. 

I have always loved  listening to people. I love to listen to each person’s story: their needs, their fears, their hopes and dreams, even their disappointments and failures. I love to do this because I believe each and every person is valuable and unique.  Each and every person  matters because they are extremely precious.  Every person’s heart is different.  Each one is vulnerable, but also beautiful,  holding within it tremendous potential  because each one has been individually crafted by the Creator whom it reflects.  Everyone matters regardless of their sins or struggles. I believe that the hearts of the homeless substance abusers and prostitutes are as precious and worth listening to as the heart of the saints.  If a flawed human such as myself feels this way, how much more does God our heavenly Father feel this way! 

He longs for you to know that he delights to listen to you to. He longs for you to know that each of your fears, failures, hopes and needs matters to him more than you will ever know.  He longs for you to know that you are not alone even though you may live alone,  or live in  a relationship where your heart is not heard, or your needs not met. Perhaps you are in a marriage where your husband or wife no longer listens to or respects your heart.  Perhaps you are the one in your group of friends or workmates who is considered the odd one out, the one who is different, whose gifts and talents are different to what the world considers the norm.  Perhaps  you are the one at school who spends recess alone because you don’t fit in in some way.  Let me tell you that you are not alone.  You are loved and cared about by the most high God,  your heavenly Father who is longing to listen to you, yearning to speak to you, and deeply desiring meaningful relationship with you.

Below is a link to Josh Groban’s popular song “You are Loved.”  I first heard this song on the radio a couple of years ago at a time when I was feeling that I didn't fit in or belong in my adopted country, and as a result  I was experiencing a degree of loneliness. Through the words of the song God reminded me that I am loved and infinitely special.   I pray that he will do the same for you today as you listen, and that you will  know that these are his words to you too.

Prayer: My Father in heaven, thank you that you hear my heart and value me more than I can know. Thank you that my hopes, dreams, fears and failures matter to you.  Thank you that where there is love, there cannot be loneliness. Help me to know your love and your Presence with me always, Amen.

Worship:  Click on the link below to watch and listen to "You are Loved" by Josh Groban